off i go ):

im leaving singapore on saturday. Don't feel like going for once. But hey, there isn't a choice la.

But, miss me ): cos i'll be missing everyone.

I feel sour again. Just sour. Not feeling happy for the past few days. Don't even feel like saying anything. And even if I want to, there's no one.

School stuffs and what nots. i think i am going crazy.

been sleeping late due to studying. pimples popping. eyes getting red. voice changing.

white hairs are growing. Now i realise the agony of woman when they have white hair.

And I am only 15!! But for Peintiong, he's exceptional.

i need to vent my frustrations and stress on something. I have to.

Bye people. Bye.

assesandbitches

I just don't get it.

I went to SP today.

We promised to stay together. BUT NO. you people just freaking leave me stranded in that freaking institue.

NO. I AM NOT HAPPY U DUMBASSES.

Another group, worst. Wanted to find them. We were on the phone, they were telling us the directions. Pass the phone here and there. Turn here and there. CANNOT FIND.

And you know why?

Those fucking people gave wrong directions. In the end, I slammed the phone and took the MRT. Off to my house.

The other gr0up. Could not find them. So I called. "Eh, I thought u were with them? So i and the others go home lor" I slammed the phone again

YOU GO EAT SHIT. I SAY I AM FINDING THEM.

So much for friends huh?

---

That was in SP. IN SCHOOL.

stupid rukmani talk and talk and talk as if the bird was her mother.

After school, PREFECTS MEETING. IMMEDIATELY GOT SCOLDED.

Cos I helped my friends to keep their hps. And some BITCH went to complain. In other words. SABO.

5 of us. complained and scolded. I just don't get it.

You know those latecomers? You actually can't blame them. TELL ME HOW MANY FUCKING BUSES GO TO MY FUCKING SCHOOL?

1 damn fucking bus. 222

AND IT SERVES 3 SCHOOLS MIND YOU.

east coast primary
metta school
ping yi school.

3000+ people. PLUS OTHERS? all want to go up to the bus with the times range of 6.30-7.10.

After that. GHOST ALSO DON"T HAVE.

The teachers don't even care. They claimed that those are not their prob. make sure you don't come late. i cant guarantee your safety.

You know what's the punishment for latecomers?

The stupid RYAN NEO will do a spot check on their bags and confiscate their hps.

Where is justice? They didn't even use their phone for goodness sake.

Where is the love among each other man?
Where is the mutual respect for the students and teachers?
Mind you, NO ONE WILL RESPECT YOU, NEO. and RUK.
Trust me. Cos I am hating you.
And if I hate you, the problem lies in you. cos most of the time. i love everyone.
Love you people? Love you teachers? LICK MY TOES.
Imbeciles

i tried my best not to use the the f- word. but somehow. it describes how am i feeling.
i am feeling way much better.

I am depressed right now.
and i vent them by....


TRALALALALA!


to spaghetti- Tuesday, January 17, 2006. go there.

make-do!!

not exactly happy.

but shall just make do with it.

cos I don't think complaining soo much is gonna help anyway.

Might as well save my saliva and the strength to type and complain.

Any o how, I read a lot of blogs today!! Yesyes. Blogs that I've link on the right side of the page. Plus links from the blogs of friends I know.

Must be thinking , "How come this woman has so much time to read blogs?"

The answer is. Im actually burning midnight oil.

In somewhat last year before Mt. Ophir trip. I realised I was nocturnal.

Im damn tired in the day.. I can sleep for 10+ hrs. But damn freaking energetic at night.

But shall see for today. If Im not in school tmr, You classmates know what happened.
---

spaghetti.- I have so many things to say. But I don't know how to say it. Really. But I was really surprised when I saw my name in ur blog. I wasn't okay. but nvm. spaghetti!! (: I miss u loads!
and I appreciate u!! really. I don't lie. (:

--
tralalalala. im unstable right now. cos I can't find my running nose. sickening.

I am pissed today.

I swear I am. Irritatingly pissed.

Maybe I just can't stand long school hours. But on the other hand, maybe it's Jonathan peh.

That sickening fat ass that thinks that he is slim and tells me his body is filled with MUSCLES, not fats.

I wonder. Than why is everyone talking about him going for liposuction?

He just can't shut his gap up. I'll stuff it with a tomato. Or worst. My BLACK SHOE.

I mean it. He just can't shut up. I was having a splitting headache when he kept babbling non stop about Harith and some smelly stuffs. What does that got to do with me?

Than when Harith comes over, and start shouting Jonathan father's name, Jonathan will shout Harith's father's name. So, it goes, CHIEW WAH!!! SAMAD!!! ...

FUCK YOU LAH.

somebody just kill me.

Because of their constant shouting at my ears. I ate 6 panadols in 1 hour and I seriously had no intention to kill myself. Unless someone is willing to kill me. But that's another story.

I didn't see Alif today. he wants his name in my entry.

OH, and the Sec 3s went for their camp today. Cheow yean wants me to say the pledge every morning for 3 days. To take over Ili.

Screw me. I can't even remember our school values.

So many homeworks. Have to research on William Shakespeare, Marx, Plato, Darwin, William Blake.

hoho. In the future, some one will be researching on Lynette Lee. Who managed to research on these 5 people.

*inhales deeply* The world is a beautiful place. *inhales deeply* The air is so fresh. * roll eyes*

I should stop coming back late.

Not as if my parents will scold. They will if I don't tell them that I'm coming back late. But then coming back late in the night, alone, isn't a very nice feeling. Especially when I have to walk past that corridor with such dim lights.

Maybe this is the effect of watching too many ghost stories.

Well anyway, I came back late on the Friday, 13th. Due to the parents meeting and prefects had to do duties. I reached home around 10+. I thought that by meeting my Mom would be ok. But who knows, she decided to go over my neighbour's house at the 13th floor to chit chat. Leaving me alone again to walk through that corridor. I freaked out lah. Besides, My Mp3 was low in battery. So, no companion. But I made it to my doorstep still. hoho.

That's why if I go out with my friends till quite late, I always ask them to send me home. During christmas, Kahjun, Peintiong, SHeryl and Carissa send me home too. Because the girls needed the toilet. So, lucky me. Although there were more of me going home alone.

I lived here ever since I was borned and I know the place well like my house. But I still freak out whenever I go home at night. I have reflections.

Once, I watched a movie. Can't really remember the details but there was one part where a green monster hand came out from the toilet bowl. and grabbed that person's arse down.

I was so scared till i dare not stay that long in the toilet. -_- I halved the time.

So silly of me.

Till now. Im still silly.

I feel so helpless out of a sudden.

Maybe it just dawn upon me that my only hope that came on the 14 Dec 2005 isn't going to be here anymore.

It's just a feeling. A very strong feeling. Yup, a strong feeling that tells me that hope isn't there anymore.He just left just like that. It was like he was here. But when he realised I broke his promise. He was angry. Than, everything started fading away. Every connection with him was just cut off just like this. I don't even dare to click his name on msn anymore. Not because of guilt that i broke his promise, but it was a strong feeling like he is a stranger to me. So strange till i don't even dare to click his name. But I do wanna know this stranger back. It's that kind of feeling la. Can't really describe.

I am somewhat afraid of the dark.

Psychologically to me, his disappearance to me is like I am in this dark room that used to be a small circle of white light. When he came, it grew slightly bigger and made me felt hope. But now, it's like total darkness. I can't even see my hands. It's worst then mt ophir.

My hope fell.
and I fell as well.

he told me he would be by my side to listen to my woes.
he also told me that he is always there for me no matter what.

He isn't there.

Although I desperately want someone to my listener for awhile. But, somewhat, I trusted him. As in, I only wanted to open up to him. Cos i trusted him. It's just based on instincts.

And I still trust him till now. I made myself believe that he is in a quite demanding school and therefore have no time to spare to listen to a pathetic girl talking about a pathetic life.

But still I would like to thank him for making an appearance in my life. Especially on the 14th dec. Thanks alot. (: At least, he said quite alot of stuffs which im damn sure no one in my entire life would have said to me, like being there for me no matter what. All these la.

Im still trying my hardest to keep my promises to him. It's hard especially when you feel like the promises are actually dead. It's like as if I don't know who am i promising. But after some thought, It turned out to be him cos he was the only one that made me promise him that.

No doubt, he made me cry once. Cos I felt that i was an irritant to him. hoho. In fact, I felt as if I was an irritant to everyone. So yea, I broke down.

I've actually not been talking much this whole week, thoughts about suicide. No matter how, I'll still get to the point of ending my life. But still, you should be glad that I didn't do what i thought (:

In short, I have been fake. I plastered a smile all over my face early in the morning. And make sure the plaster doesn't wear off.

sore throat

I can't sing.

I can't even sajiao to my parents to ask them to buy takeaways on their way back home.

hoho- Don't doubt, I've got a super duper sexy voice now.

It's terrible when you have to be alone at home in a cold rainy day. EATING INSTANT NOODLES. k la, actually, I've upgraded myself. Instead of maggie noodles, it's now cup noodles. TOM YAM FLAVOUR!!! -_- That explains the sexy voice.

I can't sing !! I know, it's the 2nd time i said this. Don't worry, there will be more.

Do you know how horrible it is? Being an all-time bathroom singer I am, I can't even sing twinkle twinkle little star. That's how pathetic I was for 2 days. Fortunately, its getting better after swallowing some honey.

Anyway, I read the papers on sunday. *pushes up glasses* DID YOU ALL READ ABOUT IT?!?!

If not, I shall enlighten some of you. hoho.

It's actually about women getting molested during the New Year celebrations at Orchard rd. Some foreign workers or even male singaporeans srpayed those spray for parties at women's eyes and then grope their breasts. By the time the women clean the spray off their faces/eyes, the chi-ko-peks would have already scrambled off with glee.

!!!!!!!!! HORRIBLE!!!

Imagine that lah. Just imagine that. There are more different kinds ok. Some of the chi-ko-peks actually spray the sprays onto the womens breasts. Horrible. This kind of people are so LC! Low class man!! LCPIG!

No, I don't miss any of the 111 boys Melinda. Maybe 1 or 2. BUT not all. They are stalkers man. haha. Cheow Yean.!!! Help. hoho- and you have not change my link. (:

junhong: don't cha wish you ah-ma was hot like me? dont cha? dont cha?

HAHAHA!! that bloody ass sang that version of that song when the whole group went out. HAHAHA.

i thae gtcian kile i am papyh.

sexy

On thursday, it was the last day of the sec 1 camp. I can say that I was the happiest. Took tonnes of photo and with a souvenier of the camp.

A sexy voice. My voice got all sore from shouting and scolding them, as well as laughing and cheering with them. Then, I had to strain my voice at training yesterday again. So today, I've got a very sexy voice. hoho. Plus, I had oreo for breakfast.

It's the first week of school. And homeworks are up to my neck. Im just taking a breather for now.

Im afraid that her dream will come true. I may say that I will, but I don't know if I can. Get that? Moreover, CO is my form teacher.

I've been thinking lately. Why can't some malay and chinese get along? I seriously have not idea. If you're talking about being left out, that's a different situation. But if it's not getting along, i suppose it's something big. Or something even worst.

AND you know what? i don't know what am I talking again. tsk sickening.

Oh. I found my camp pinnacle badge in the freezer. Don't ask why. Long story.

Everyone is understress. Don't be surprised to see me in white hair. Or worst. You may not even see me.

Where were you when i needed you?
I thought you said we would share our lives with one another.
It's Ok, I understand

fatfat

tell me where is balestier?

it sounds far. but it's not. hoho.

It's the start of the new sch year. AND I hate the timetable. ALL of lessons ends at 4.30.

k la k la. only on wednesdays. Tuesday and thursday at 4. AND after that we're gonna have science practical. Both chemistry and biology. anybody wishes to switch identities with me?

A couple of prefects and I brought the newly sec 1s to one of the campsites at Balestier. So I skipped lessons. My ASM was with me though. The sec 1s are so cute!!! REALLY MAN. hahaks. AND guess what they call me?? JIE JIE. LOL. so cute. They refuse to call me Lynette or Atiqah, Atiqah. It's always either 'jie jie' here and 'kak kak' there.

There's this guy, ok, BOY. His name is 'myname'

i have no idea how it's spelt but this is what everyone calls him including the teachers.

He is damn cute and chubby and most importantly he comes from my school. Ok, That was my first impression of him. You know, those angelic kind. But NO. This boy has a serious attitude problem and is freaking spoilt. When we had outdoor cooking, he kept complaining why must they cook. Not as if sec 1s are gonna make their recess and all these crap. And he kept repeating he want burgers. that explains his size. So in the end, i had to cook the macaroni for them and they cooked their hotdogs and sardines.

AND I HAD NO SHARE OF IT. That's the worst part.

After lunch, i did not talked to him anymore. His attitude just suck la. He refuse to participate in most of the activities and when his classmates were being briefed on wearing the harness, he sat aside, saying he know this and blah. I didn't talk to him cos i was afraid I'll end up shouting at his face. And who knows he might cry or something. It may be a small matter, but who knows? for a girl whose emotions is up to her neck. I might just decide to strangle him or stuff him with hamburgers.

But his size kind of reminded me of ME. When I was in primary sch, i was this obese girl that had to go to TAF prog. I was close to 78kg liddat.Having such a body already made me very pissed. Plus all those crude remarks from my classmates and stuffs like that. My pri sch life was somewhat bad. In sec sch, i joined NCC, so.. from a XL camo bottom, it's now currently M. (:

Sometimes I get really sensitive about people calling me fat. Yups. Especially during camp pin. One of the company mates told me i was fat. I was damn hurt. but i shrug it off by saying "So? i like the way i am". BUT THAT WAS SO FAKE. So, after that incident, i ate only vegetables from the catered meals. Don't believe? ask Atiqah or Jeryl, Atiqah gave me her vegetables whereas i gave Jeryl my rice and meat so that i won't be scolded by Sir Hadi. Actually, i had no idea that what that company mate said affected me. Until i went home and reflected for camp pin.

Alrights. Tmrw will be the 2nd day with the Sec 1s. Hope my patience for that myname will stay. hoho.

If pain is beauty, I would have been fucking gorgeous.
Off to homeworking.

-it's so weird that you think i have a crush on you. Just so weird.

new year.
new blog.

new blog.
new life.

new life.
new memories.

(: